Sunday, December 27, 2009

I need some personal advice on a current living situation?

So here's the deal. I live right now with 3 girls. they are all pretty much crazy and our personalities are clashing. The one that i'm very good friends with is moving out this summer and I have been thinking of doing the same. our lease isnt up till december 07 but i'm pretty sure we can get out of it and only loose our deposit. But the place i want to move to is a great house with 3 boys. they are great guys and ive known them all since high school, but i guess i'm having an ethical dilema about it. My mom is upset and disappointed that i'm giving up on living with the girls and that i'm never satistfied. I'm currently taking one sememster off of school and want to go back this summer. when i first moved into the house my grades slipped dramatically and I'm constantly reminded about how ';stupid'; i am. I just want to know if moving in with the boys sounds reasonable or just like a dumb i dea. I know you all dont know all of the details but even from friendly advice would work. thanksI need some personal advice on a current living situation?
As a woman whose longest best platonic friendships (20+ years) are with men, I say go for it!! I have probably an equal # of friendships with women and men. The only men I have had problems with are those with whom I become intimate. So make a rule to keep it platonic at all costs!





Women in general are competitive; they can get catty and jealous and controlling (I'm having that problem with one friend at 44 years old! Uggghh!), and this increases when you live with them. I don't think I could ever live w/ another woman, let alone 3 of them! I could live with one or more men. You know why?





Because for the most part, men say it like it is, and yet they are considerate of your feelings and try not to hurt them. They have no reason to get jealous, and therefore no reason to get mean. They enjoy your company and appreciate your attention. AND! They may be more likely to help tutor you with your tough subjects, as that feeds their ego! I doubt they'll ever call you stupid.





You say you've known the guys since high school. How well? You and mom might want to think up some questions to ask them about their living situation, and definitely have her present when you ask these questions, because mom's intuition will be better at reading their responses... Things like how they share clean-up duties, what about loud music, how late friends come over at night, and other questions about the living situation that went wrong before, other things that might become a new annoyance with the differences in the way men may live.





Have they ever lived with a female before? Will they really want to make the sacrifices it will take to have a female present in a male house? (nudity, pornography, loud music, dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor might be more prevalent with college guys away from their mothers' rules!!).





These may sound like hard questions - but what is harder? Well, as you've already found out, trying to get OUT of a lease once things get ugly. So get these scary questions out of the way now! And just because you have mom there, doesn't mean you must take her advice. Just take to heart that she cares, and make a point of letting her know that you are weighing in what she says and that her feelings do count in your decision.





Above all, make sure the respect is there! Because, bottom line, that is what was lacking in the female housing relationship.I need some personal advice on a current living situation?
if you decide to live with the boys, do introduce your mom to them....that may help alleviate her fear and anxiety. additionally, sounds like you're growing up and need to make decisions on your own, regardless of your mom's lack of support... but it goes without saying, be accountable if things don't go right again and learn from it and if it goes the other way around, then pat yourself on the shoulder...
3 boys and 1 girl in a house, try to put 3 cooks and 1 hen in a chicken house, what would it be likes? God safe the world.
Depends on personality of housemate than their gender. If you feel they are good they you can go for it. You will have problems with your mom but if things go alright in the future she will probably understand.





But do understand that boys live completely differently than girls. hope you can adjust to it.
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