Personal advice please help me?

Hello. I need help finding my way back to the old me. My mother passed away from cancer two days after my senior homecoming dance. She flat lined just as I was stepping off of the hospital elevators to head to her room. i heard the dispatch and was told to wait in a room. They came in and the doctor told us she began bleeding from every opening in her body (why would they tell that to a 17 year old? ) either way, initially I was devastated, but still functioning well. my final H.S. gpa was a 3.8 I was going to an excellent University and even my freshman yr college grades were decent. During the summer after my freshman year, my younger brother moved in with me (he was living with our older brother previously and things we'rent working out) Ever since my academinc performance has been unpredictable, I have horrible night mares, I'm not motivated, I skip my classes all the time because I'm afraid to put forth the effort and fail anyway, I've gained about 40 lbs (i used to weigh 120 and now I'm in the high 160s and totally disgusted with how I look and I barely eat) I have no financial or moral support and now that I am approaching graduation I feel myself falling further apary. I'm afriad. I talked to a psychiatrist once, well attempted to and couldn't speak. I had to write everything down while frantically fighting back tears, I haven't gone back since. all I want to do is lay in the bed, nothing else. I just don't care anymore. I want to, but I don't know how to anymore. I just want to be happy again. I want good grades again. I don't want my past to keep destroying my futurePersonal advice please help me?
Were you put on any anti-depressants? That may be the cause of the weight gain. As for the doctor--keep going back or try to find a support group. How long until your graduation?





You really need to go back to the doctor or find a support group. You need to get this graduation behind you--then if you can, take a little while off and really concentrate on healing yourself. Did you start taking anti-depressants?Personal advice please help me?
I think you should go back to see the psychiatrist it will help you alot .It seems that you are holding a lot of things inside that you really need to get out before it kills you. You sufferd a terrable lost that is eating away at you. So you really need to get that off your chest and maybe you can move on with your life.
Hey dude, my mom died about 14 months ago the exact same way. I am in my 40's and we all new she was fading fora month steady prior to getting that bad. we all got to say our goodbyes. We cried our tears but the devastating drama you are dealing with was not part of my grieving. I miss mom that's for sure, but i KNOW mom is in a better place. heaven. If your mom was saved then i can assure you your mom is living it up right now. If your mom was not saved i can't educate you on what her bright future may be. But to the best of my understanding she is not in hell right now as most religious people will tell you.





So to help you get back to where you want to be will come from KNOWING what so many others KNOW if you need coaching i will help all i can just email me.


Dinosaur
I am so sorry sweetie. I know you miss your mom more than your own life, but honey, your mom is still watching. She's sill there. She raised you right. Take what she gave to you and taught to you and make her proud. Talk to her anytime, anyplace. I talk to my dad ALL THE TIME. I know what he expected of me and what he taught me. Even tho he isn't here physically, he will always be in my heart, my soul and my mind. I tell him that I miss him and that I wish he was here....daily. I cry still, but Iknow it's okay. It's been 7 years since I lost my dad, and the pain is still deep, but its more of my selfish pain because I want him here. He went through alot pain before he passed. I had to look at it as him not suffering any more. I love him so dearly and I don't like to see him suffer. It hurt me more than him. Please dont give up on yourself or your brothers. You are all going through the worse pain imaginable. Stick close together, love each other and be there for each other. Strength comes in numbers. You have to go forward, because being a mother myself, I would want my sons to move forward and not give up. I pray everynight that my sons be safe, healthy, happy and for all of their dreams to come true. The same prayer everynight. I think its every mothers prayer. Don't give up the faith sweetie. Your mom would want you to be strong and know that all of her efforts weren't wasted....cuz she knows....
YOU ARE VERY DEPRESSED AND UNDERSTANDABLY SO. IT'S VERY PAINFUL TO LOSE A PARENT. THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WILL NEED HELP PULLING OUT OF. THERE ARE SUPPORT GROUPS THAT MAY BE OF HELP TO YOU. THIS IS A PART OF THE GRIEF CYCLE AND YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I m so sorry for your loss. may God help you through this. never give up on your plans and education, your mom would be proud of you.
My heart goes out to you, dear. There's no easy way to handle this. You've been through a very traumatic event. You just need to open yourself up to people. Talk to your friends, your teachers, your family. I know it's hard to express yourself sometimes. I used to write things down for my boyfriend when I wanted to tell him how I felt. It was hard for me sometimes. (I went through something traumatic as well, but nothing like your situation.)





Fortunately, this is how a normal person would react to something as serious as what happened to you. You haven't gone crazy. You're just depressed. But, it's alright. There's plenty of people out there who you can talk to if you ever need help. I know I'm a complete stranger, but if it would help just to vent, I'll listen. You need people who will listen.





This is going to take time. It won't make the pain go away or make it easier, but in time you'll find yourself again. You'll learn to love yourself. You'll start eating more, maybe diet and exercise since you aren't happy with your body image... by the way, there's nothing wrong with being 160 pounds. I weigh around 160 and I love the way I look. :)





Maybe after you find yourself again, you can try college again. You can get those grades that you know you're capable of. You can feel proud of yourself.





I wish you the very best of luck. And please, don't feel shy about talking to me randomly. If you need to get something off your chest and you don't know who else to go to, try me. I won't judge you.